Wednesday Champions League Preview

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Chelsea v Manchester United

Stamford Bridge, London

2.45 ET, Today

This is one of the top reasons why soccer really should catch on in these United States. This game is a godsend for desk jockeys all across this great land. If you're desperately trying to hang on until 5pm, there's a match of this magnitude starting in the mid-afternoon. Just place a bunch of paper on your desk and visit one of the several streaming sites available to intrepid internet surfers and zone out until you clock out.

Now, the headline on the BBC right now is that Sir Alex is going to be focusing on away goals tonight. Always a good plan. Focus on goals. Goals win matches. Goals change games. Blarggaclicheclysm. Whatever.

Anyone who claims to have any idea what'll happen tonight is lying. The pressure on Chelsea is immense. This is it for them, likely. It's a big ask for them to climb back into the title race, so if they fail to progress from this tie, that's it, see you next August. And, really, how much can we trust Abramovich? If they fail to win a trophy for a few seasons, will he get bored, pick up his toys, and leave? It seems to me that's a likelier outcome than people seem to think. They need to win this Champions League, and soon, to maintain the Russian's interest.

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Barcelona v Shahktar Donetsk

2.45 ET Today

Camp Nou, Barcelona

Look at both of those buildings. Magnificent. Unfortunately for Donetsk, the Donbass Arena is the only reason you'd ever go there, while Barcelona has several sights for the American Tourist. Since I know little to nothing about Shahktar or how they'd matchup with Barcelona, let's just talk about what a great city for tourism Barcelona is. I mean, look at that church. It's remarkable isn't it? And it's not even finished! That Gaudi sure could design a building...

Really, though, who cares? It's all about United and Chelsea today. So make your way to a streaming site and don't get any work done after 2. You've earned it! Maybe even try to sneak a beer into the office. You won't get caught! Put it in an inconspicuous red solo cup. No one'll suspect a thing!